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By Marty, April 29, 2011 4:12 pm

I hope you have never seen one of these and never will see one

MyeongHee’s hairshop got updated this week to the 21st century. She rents a small building with an adjacent bathroom. Prior to this week, the bathroom was just a concrete shell over a ceramic-lined hole in the floor. They used to be fairly common when I first came to Korea but more and more the western toilets are the norm. I really abhor these, because they aren’t meant for toilet paper to be flushed down them. That means that if you wipe you booty with tissue, you’re supposed to leave the tissue in the bucket next to the “island.”  So even though they may wrap up some fouled tissue in a wad of clean tissue, there are still little piles of poop sitting in that bucket for days until someone cleans it out. Very clean and tidy. Smells lovely, too.

You have seen these before, I hope

One of MyeongHee’s friends came by the hairshop to chat and then used the bathroom.  For a man, these islands aren’t such a big deal just to do #1  – we can simply unzip and let loose. Women, however, particular if they wear pants, are not so fortunate and must squat with pants all jumbled up.  After doing her business and having had to work the pants issue, she spotted MyeongHee’s landlord and then bitched him out because of the ancient toilet he maintains. Two days later, apparently shamed into action, he remodelled the hairshop’s bathroom with a tile floor and real toilet.

Progress marches inexorably onward.

Now we can comfortably do our business and without the leftovers from the last person sitting in the bucket next to us.

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By Marty, April 28, 2011 11:47 am

Less than two days after the bike was stolen I got it back!  Woo hoo! I must be living right!

It turns out the thief sold it to a “friend” and the “friend” brought it to OMK Bicycle shop in Ulsan. OMK is one of several bike shops that know me, but these guys do all the mechanical work on my bike and are also my business partners on my other website, Ulsanonline.com.  They have been regular advertisers on the site and regular mechanics for me. It was no surprise they recognized the bike since a) I just had some work done on it last week and b) the seat was still raised high enough to accommodate a 6’1″ dude.  I’m betting the “friend” is the thief himself and unloaded it as quickly (and as far from my house – 5 miles) as he could. The bike shop owners convinced him the police would be looking for such a bike (they weren’t – I didn’t even call them since the thief had a mask and hat) and that it would be foolish to openly ride it around town.  They called me on Wednesday evening and I picked up the bike Thursday.

Honestly, I think it pays to be a white-face among a sea of Asian faces. Lots of Koreans know me because I look so different. But if I see them outside of the normal environment I have come to know them (i.e I see the butcher not at his store but at the park) I don’t always recognize them.  Back home in teh USA I’d be just another forgettable guy whose bike was ganked.

Anyway, as I expected, when I got the bike  the compact air pump was gone, as was the saddle bag with tools and spare tube. The thief also took the speedometer/odometer but he left the sensor on the front wheel so that’s useless.  All minor problems.  I immediately bought a hand-phone case from OMK BIkes (I love those guys) that will let me clip the phone to the handlebars and I can run Endomondo, a GPS-enabled application on the phone that will track my speed, miles, calories – an even better tool than a mere speedometer/odometer.  Now I just need another air pump and tool bag with tools and I’m set for the long rides into the mountains.

The only bad news from all of this is that my bike now lives in the apartment where we really don’t have room for it.  Even chained to the metal handrails on the stairwell outside the apartment offers no protection from a bolt cutter.

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By Marty, April 27, 2011 10:56 am

My bicycle was my gym. I rode it, not to get around town, but to keep the fat off. It wasn’t a terribly expensive bike, but it was expensive enough to withstand the weight I put on it and have it carry me up the hills and mountains here and then stop me well enough on the way back down. And I had plenty of extras on it, including a compact air pump,  a speedometer/odometer and a saddle pouch filled with spare tubes and patches.

And now it’s gone.

We left the house on Monday morning about 10. It was raining and I had just taken the dogs outside and left my umbrella hanging on the bike’s handlebars while I went back inside to get MyeongHee and take her to work.  After driving her to the hairshop, I went downtown to meet another prospective employer and was there until 11:30 or so. When I came back at 11:45, I almost didn’t recognize my own apartment: the bike that is always present near the front door was gone. I had to double-check the door number to make sure I was at the right apartment.

I immediately ran down to the security office to have them check their CCTV videos. It didn’t take long to find out what happened.

Here is the guy going into the building. The bag he carries likely has a bolt-cutter

Just a few short minutes later, he carries out my bike

And then, once outside, he cuts the lock and rides off into the sunset

So, nothing to go on except a guy in a black and blue jacket. He wearing a mask, which doesn’t even rate mild surprise in Asia where masks are common given the level of pollution and, in spring, yellow dust from the Gobi desert. He’s got a cap, too, so almost nothing of his face can be seen. He must’ve known where he going and what he was getting as he spent just a short time going up the stairs and then back down. My friends say he probably saw me before, watched where I went and then staked out the place, waiting for us to leave. We were gone less than one hour when the CCTV snapped these pictures.

And it was about 90 minutes after that that I took these pictures of the video with my hand-phone and then walked the neighborhood looking for a short fucker in a black and blue jacket. No luck, obviously. Probably a good thing as I was angry enough to do some real damage had I found him.

Once before I had a few things stolen off the bike – I suspect by kids since they stole useless electronics like the former speedometer I had but left the sensor and wireless transmitter.  So now it’s twice I’ve lost things.  I just spent $110 on the bike late last week getting new gears, chain and sprocket.

And while I’m not broke and can buy another bicycle, that’s money I didn’t want to spend.

Sadly, posting my loss on facebook brought out a number of other friends’ stories of what they had stolen from them. Nice not to have been singled out, I supposed.  And this won’t be the last, either. I’ll just have to find a place inside the apartment to stash the next bike I buy.

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By Marty, April 21, 2011 8:27 am

The vacation was great. Nearly six weeks of just hanging out with family and friends. That much time off makes it hard to go back to work, but I have.  Within just a day of beginning a job search I found a nice little gig. Princeton Review got a big contract to offer English courses at the enormous Hyundai Motors factory here in town.  There are numerous small classes with mid-level managers and executives either during lunch time or around dinner time. Since the factory operates 24 hours a day, some of the workers are 2nd shift. Anyway, I snagged a few courses and will make almost the same amount of money for about 1/3 the number of hours I worked as a full-time teacher at a private school.  I also picked up a couple of hours of teaching at another private school near home. So far, I’m scheduled for a whopping 13 hours a week.  Not all

Almost as good as Greek Theater Masks, one girl is happy, one is sad. Common occurence

contiguous, of course, but I can fill the time between courses easily enough.  Throw in a few hours each week of driving back and forth to all these classes and a boy could get really worn out doing 15 hours.

I’ve thrown a number of my vacation pictures up on facebook, but it’s always good to have some spread around. I thought I’d post a few here as well.

Spending a good portion of my time as Jessie’s so I could with the grand-babies was wonderful. Nothing like a little drama to liven things up. Ah, kids.

I took far too many pictures to include them all. So I’ve taken a few of the family shots and posted them below. Click on a photo to see the large size.

Thankfully, we did not have to endure another Sears Photo session and try and fit everyone in the entire extended family onto the canvas.

To see more pictures, check out the big-ass family photo album I posted on my facebook page. Gotta be a facebook user and gotta be a friend, though

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By Marty, April 18, 2011 7:45 am

Just for grins, I decided to get a USA phone number for my Korean mobile phone. Without going into too much detail, this is a Skype number, which is a internet-based phone system. It should work provided I have Skype enabled on my phone and I have wireless access at my current location. I can control the first, and Korea has plenty of the second.

Remember, I’m 14 hours ahead of US Central Standard Time, so be kind. If you call me at noon in the US, I’ll be likely sleeping since it’ll be 2am here. Generally, good hours in the USA to call me are 7pm to 9am CST – that’s 9am to 11pm  here in Korea.

Give it a try and call me.

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By Marty, April 17, 2011 12:14 pm

The first video I want to share from my vacation in America. These are my granddaughters, Jillian and Jenna.

I was babysitting the two and gave them a snack. It was only a short while, but it didn’t take long for trouble to brew. I gave them “Goldfish” graham crackers in non-spill cups.  Then we turned on the DVR for a few minutes of their favorite TV show by far, The Wiggles. While I tried to get the girls to dance, Jillian eats a few of her goldfish and gives the majority to the dog.

Sure, that’s sharing. That’s nice. But when she runs out of goldfish and mean, old Papa Marty won’t give her any more – that’s the real sharing.

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By Marty, April 17, 2011 10:35 am

And so on and so forth…

Getting back to Korea from my long vacation in the USA was no big ordeal.

Getting from the airport to home was indeed an ordeal, however.  In an effort to make the flight/airport time (i.e. time in a kennel) easier for SaTang, I tried to get the most direct route home.  I usually fly out of Busan to Tokyo and then on to DFW. For whatever crazy reason, even though people were avoiding Japan due to the radiation potential, flights through Tokyo were double the cost of fares to other cities. Flying to Beijing and then on to Busan was cheaper by half but far longer in time to be cooped up in a kennel. Same with Hong Kong or Singapore.  I chose to fly direct to Seoul and then use the trains get to the opposite end of the peninsula.

We got into Incheon airport near Seoul after a mere 14 hours flying time. Happy to have come through security and animal customs cleanly and avoided the Japanese radiation, I took SaTang out of her kennel and we headed for the train from the airport to the main train station. Trust me when I tell you that process is far easier for those who travel light. I had a rolling bag and heavy backpack and a kennel to carry through the numerous escalators and elevators to get just to the train was  a trek.

Once on the train, we had about 40 minutes to ride to the central Seoul Station where I could hop the fast KTX train to Ulsan. We got to the station and had to navigate our way through several levels upward to the station itself from the tracks. Getting into or onto a combination of escalators and very slow elevators with all my gear and dog was extreme. I hope to never have to do that again.

At the train station, I showed the ticketmaster at the counter the email with the ticket number MyeongHee had already purchased for me. Although she bought it almost two weeks prior, it was standing room only.  I would have to stand the two hours on the train. Furious, I told her to cancel that and I’d get another train. No dice – everything on Friday night out of Seoul was standing room only. I could have taken a bus home but that would be five hours more and I wasn’t up for it. I repurchased a ticket and waited for my ride/stand home.

While I waited, I tried to take SaTang outside so she could pee or poop. She’d been in the kennel for a long while and hadn’t done either. Outside the train station in Seoul is a virtual circus of humanity. More than a few drunks and derelicts expressed love and affection for my cute doggie and had to be literally beaten off before she bit them. Like myself, she was a little peeved and irritable from a long flight. I smacked one drunk to the ground and bundled up our stuff to get away from them. We had to go down the ramp rather than the stairs because of all I carried and that’s where the drunks prefer to pee since the ramp had waist-high concrete walls to shield prying eyes. I threw rocks at one drunk in our path who was peeing and finally got him to make way. SaTang got the hint, however, and decided this was as good a place as any to pee and let it rip.  I decided it would be better to wait inside where the drunks and retards weren’t so populous. I bought us both a hamburger at McDonalds and gave her the meat. I had to fight off a few more drunks and homeless who wanted my hamburger, the dog’s hamburger, me to buy them one or me to just give them the money.

Perhaps its the vast difference in price between planes and trains and buses, but I find far less drunks and derelicts in the airports. What a place.

Already up for almost 24 hours by then, I was waiting to board the train when someone asked me if I shouldn’t be getting on. My watch said I had two hours to go but it was actually 14 hours behind – I forgot to change the time from Dallas, CST.  I had mere minutes to get on the train and I ran (or more like hobbled) with SaTang, my rolling bag, backpack and kennel to get through two more escalators to the tracks. I missed my train by seconds and was left pounding on the doors as it pulled away. Arrrgh!

I got on the next train a half hour later and was finally on my way home. It was only a two hour ride from Seoul and standing was only part way. Once some of the people got off and various cities along the way I could take a seat and relax. MyeongHee picked us up at the Ulsan station at 10:20pm and we were home by 11, a whopping 24 hours of non-stop travel.

Now that I’ve had a day to relax and adjust to the time zone, it’s time to get busy here in Korea. Lots to catch up on, including this blog, but some photos to post, videos to make and, not least, find a new job.

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By Marty, March 5, 2011 5:13 pm

ICE – In Case of Emergency

I’m usually pretty lax about this kind of stuff. Perhaps because I’ve led a charmed life and have had damn few real emergencies so far that I think I won’t ever need to have this. I don’t want to be morbid, but shit happens. I love my wife dearly and would hate to think she would be in limbo not knowing.

I’ll be America for several weeks and just in case something should happen, I’d like for someone to inform my wife back in Korea. Oh, sure I could have written emails, but this way all my bases are covered as so many people I know read this.

So, here’s the number.   ICE Call my wife at 82-010-2550-5941. The 82 is the country code. Calling overseas, depending on the network used, the area code – 010 – is either with or without the leading zero. If 010 doesn’t work, try 10.   When you reach MyeongHee, speak slowly and clearly. Leave off the euphemisms (i.e. he didn’t kick the bucket – he died. You get the idea.)   Korea is 15 hours ahead from American Central Standard Time, so be kind. If you call at noon in Dallas, it’s 3am in Korea. She’ll be a little fuzzy-headed. Wait until 6pm Dallas time and catch her at 9am and explaining things will be far easier.

And after several weeks of enjoying my family and friends, when I’m safely back in this land, when I again hold her in my arms, I’ll chuckle about it and erase this posting.

But just …ICE

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By Marty, March 2, 2011 11:46 pm

And just like that, we were childless. Up until Tuesday, DongHyun still wasn’t sure where he was going to go to college. I figured it was going to default to not going at all and he’d simply find an odd job here or there until he did his 2 year stint in the Army.  But on Tuesday he said he was accepted to MiRae university in Daegu. So today, we packed him off to the bus station and he’s now living in Daegu.   It’s only about 1.5 hours drive to Daegu, but for a boy with no car it’s too far to commute by bus so he’ll live in a boarding house. He has a roommate in a very small room and he’ll study Sociology.

And today, Wednesday, is the first night we’ll spend alone, just MyeongHee and I. She’s a little sad without her boy. And I can’t blame her.  Been there, done that. I think her sadness is compounded by the fact that I’ll be leaving shortly , too. On Sunday, I’ll take off to the USA for a month or so and she’ll be alone.

Anyway, I’m too excited to be sad. I’ll be home in less than four days and I simply can’t wait. Hurry Sunday!

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By Marty, February 25, 2011 11:22 am

There is a countdown timer on the right side of this page. It shows when next I’ll come back to the USA.

I had left it up knowing I might have to alter the D~Day event significantly if I got the job at UNIST.  It would have been summer, a season I had come to abhor in Texas. But now it is as it always was. March 6th I will board a plane for an extended visit home.

I decided not to take the job they offered. The contract negotiation session yesterday was a sad affair in many ways. I was prepared for a low ball offer but not that low. Although after walking out on giving them my final offer they called back and upped their offer. It was still too low by a far cry, especially considering what they wanted : a technically oriented teacher who could teach writing. That was me and rhey even admitted there wasn’t another candidate with the skills they wanted.

They wanted steak on a hotdog budget and I told them those exact words. After having done an interview and returned to do a presentation and returned again to discuss money I just felt they were having me jump through a lot of flaming hoops for a salary I can get anywhere in this town. Moreover, I have talents other candidates do not have. (Modesty has no place in job negotiations, by the way.)

And if small money was not enough of a reason, the rest of the negotiation session revealed the real deal: split shifts in the summer, student counselling and what they considered the cherry on top – proofreading professors’ technical papers. Not even teaching.  Nothing about it made me excited about the job and I’m actually very happy to have turned them down. One should be excited and enthused about a new job and I was neither. It didn’t take me long to make my final decision. On retrospect, their campus revealed as much about their mindset as their offer: beautiful buildings and landscaping and an air of wanting to be a part of something special. But they do not appear to value their human assets near as much. No budget for salaries but an enormous budget for polished marble, etched stainless steel and even LCD displays on rooms announcing the schedules therein.

So my immediate future is set. I will finish my contract on March 4th and be on a plane on the 6th. When I come back at some, as yet, undetermined future I will be just a hired gun, teaching English where ever there is a need and a fistful on won.

Got English. Will travel.