Losing Face
What it means to be Asian is beyond the ken of many westerners. I admit I understand little of it. As an American, a culture known for it’s frankness and logic, Losing Face is, to me, nothing more than an opportunity for discussion, understanding and perhaps an apology, if warranted.
Allow me to describe a situation of Losing Face as it occurred in my school this week. My school’s owner, Mr Gong, hired a new teacher last week. His sister, Young Sook, the manager/director had me interview her for her English ability. The interview was a rather public one and simply a discussion of where she’d gotten her degree, how long she’d been teaching, etc., but an interview at which she abjectly failed. Where questions were answered with when answers, or met with blank stares altogether. Neither Young-Sook nor I had much faith in her English ability, especially after she revealed it wasn’t her first choice for a foreign language – it was behind Japanese which was her degree.
This woman, who I’ll call A, was the friend of another teacher (I’ll call her G) who has been at our school since before I came back in early 2007. G has been here four years and her recommendation of A mattered more to Mr Gong, then either his sister’s or my opinion of her worthiness as an English teacher. No matter, he’s the owner and can do as he pleases. G has brought A in and said she was a good teacher and could speak English well. One out of two ain’t bad, so in she came and began teaching last week.
Three days of teaching and rearranging the existing teachers schedules to accommodate both the new teacher and the new students arriving with the fall term and a minor issue arises. A mother called to say her son was having trouble coping with English and how would we deal with it. Her son was in one of the classes shuffled around and G was no longer his teacher; A would be his teacher (I am, by the way, teacher to all students and spread my time among 21 different classes each week). So, during our lunch period, a mere 10 minutes in which all of us teachers usually discuss issues, students, etc, Young-Sook asked A how she would handle this boy’s problem. She asked the question in English – not merely for my benefit, for she’s always believed that lunch time discussions should include all teachers, but also that teachers should be able to have a conversation (i.e be fluent) in the language they teach. A was unable to respond. She leaned over to G, asked (in Korean) her what was asked of her and the muttered, in English, “I don’t know.”
I felt badly for A as she clearly was not able to communicate in English. I looked at my shoes and my noodles while she struggled to discretely get guidance and Korean from G answer in English.
That evening, a typhoon blew through the peninsula and it rained quite a bit. The next day, it was very windy and when I went to the school I was alone. I thought perhaps that some trees might have been knocked down and getting to the school might have caused the other teachers to be late. I began my classes and one hour later was met by Young-Sook who was very distressed. G had not shown up. She hadn’t called. She merely sent a text message to Mr Gong’s wife, the school secretary that she could no longer work at the school. Because of her recommendation of A and A’s very public failings she had lost face. She quit.
Having talked quite a bit to Young-sook, it was nothing that would have reflected on G’s teaching ability – she’s a great teacher and the kids love her. But the way she only sent a text message and didn’t call that was too much for her – G could never come back. A classic lack of showing respect, another Asian tenet of behavior that must rigidly be followed.
So, now, we have no G and we have A, who is clearly not a G.
In my world, a phone call to G would have fixed everything. Her shame would not, in my view, have trumped her ability to teach. We would have worked it out. Here, that’s just not so. She can’t overcome her shame to face her employer and the employer can’t overcome the lack of protocol.
Themocracy
It’s worse. The owner spoke to G and wants her back. But because she disrespected his sister, Young-sook, but not calling to inform me, Young-sook can’t tolerate the notion of letting her come back. Young-sook has quit.